Webb House...

So, since I only had one exam this week, I decided to hang out with Christine all weekend.
On Saturday we went to see Easy A, which was funny.
Then on Sunday I went over to her house to talk, eat and go Christmas shopping with her because Rex has left her a widow this week due to finals.
Due to the blizzard outside, when Christine and I got home, we found out Christine had a snowday.
So since it was so bad out and Christine and nothing to do the next day, I spent the night.
The next day, I woke up and the fun continued.
Rex went to his exam and Christine and I took over the house, we decided to be productive, so I made her posters and she finished her Christmas cards. After our productivity, we decided to play in the snow.
So, there is an ADORABLE snowman outside her window and since we had like 87 inches of snow on the ground, we decided to make a snow dog for the snowman.
So, as excited as her 6th graders, we got dressed for the snow. Since I had no choice I wore what i had been wearing all day, leggings and a t-shirt. Luckily I brought a sweatshirt and scarf along with my coat, but no gloves.
So since Rex took his gloves, Christine said we could share hers, although I appreciated the gesture, how were we supposed to make a snow dog if we could both only use one hand. Inventive Christine came up with a solution to our problem. Dirty socks.
So, since I am the nice generous one, I gave Christine the right glove and suffered with the left glove and a dirty sock.
(Christine and I are both right handed, so i sacrificed the use of my right hand for her... I'm so selfless)
so we went outside ready to create man's best friend. However, the snow wasn't packing snow and it literally was blowing out of our hands. So I had a rather smart idea, or so I thought of using water. Christine thought I was absolutely insane but listened and got a jug of water.
After a few snowballs and an epic fail of a snow dog, Christine decided to cut our loses and make a snow rat using the water.
After the the miniature best friend was created we called it quits and went inside.
So, we threw the socks on the ground outside the door with the jug of water, took off our boots and threw our coats on the couch. Christine said we had to clean up before Rex got back because he HATED it when she left her coat on the couch because it didn't take that much effort to hang up, but we were tired and cold so we left the forbidden coat there for the time being.
Then it was lunch time, Christine started to make chili three-way for Rex as I cleaned the kitchen and did the dishes. (PS: I have to say, just because I know it'll make her mad, Christine's kitchen was a MESS)
At around 1:30 Rex texted Christine, this was not good.
Rex's exam started at 12:45 and if he was already done, he would be home before lunch was finished. (It takes like 3 hours to make chili three-way the RIGHT way)
Alas, rex had already finished his exam, in 16 minutes. So we took the defeat and decided it was OK that lunch wasn't going to be ready in time.
So Christine made him soup to hold him over until actual lunch.

After the kitchen was clean and we had eaten our weight in slim jims, we went into the living room to wait for Rex. When he made it home, I remembered the socks, the water and Christine's coat. So after he came in, I looked at Christine and said we forgot and he was like I already saw the socks, but I knew he didn't see the coat.
So I went out grabbed the water the socks and put her coat on the back of her chair.
Proud of my accomplishments, I said "He didn't notice the coat,"
This obviously defeated the purpose, but he wasn't mad so it was all OK.

Fast Forward after lunch.
Christine plays with Elsie Kitten in a humorous way and Rex and I always make fun of her, so obviously this time wasn't any different.
We were playing with Elsie and I was TAPPING her with this plastic stick.
Christine then grabbed it and started SMACKING me with it, saying "how do you like it?!" I then grabbed the feather toy and put it in her face to get my revenge (Christine and Rex shake feathers at Elsie and she jumps at them, its funny)
And then, if you read the last Webb blog you will understand, I grabbed the bumble bee and started saying "buzz buzz buzz" to Christine.
After our epic battle it was decided that I would leave after the cookies were done.

After some delicious cookies, Rex and I were teasing Christine to which she said
"OK you can go now..... but seriously we need to hang out again this week."


PS: I love the Webb's!

Christine is an amazing cook!
She made like 4,000 cookies... :)

Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it Snow

Super creative title right?!
I know, I know but it totally works

Dear Mother Nature,
Thank you! I know this is a weird occurrence for us, since our relationship isn't exactly roses and rainbows, but seriously I mean it, thank you! Usually, you like to make all of us college kids suffer through the snow and freeze on our way to class as early as November 1st, but this year you really outdid yourself. Yes, we have had cold days and rain, but NO SNOW until December 1st, as it should be. It's like you knew today was the start of the Christmas season.
Yes, the Christmas season starts AFTER Thanksgiving and Mother Nature I think you have proven your point... Snow starts when its officially time to start thinking about Christmas, DECEMBER 1st.
So again I thank you, now don't think this is an excuse for a blizzard or below freezing temperatures... We are finally on a good note, don't screw it up now.
Sincerely,
Katie

OK so I think for the first time ever I am not pissed that it snowed today. This is the first snow we have had this year and I am pleased. I am one of the biggest snow-haters but today it seems fitting. I am not a grinch, I do not hate Christmas, but this idea that Christmas season starts November 1st is baloney. Christmas starts AFTER Thanksgiving, that is why it is later on the calendar. Christmas decorations can go up now and the madness and greatness of the holidays can begin, because December and snow has finally come.
In conclusion, snow belongs in December.

So bring on the snow!

PS: Christmas music before December is ridiculous. Its like singing happy birthday to yourself a month before your actual birthday. See, it sounds crazy now doesn't it.

Back to the Story Board

Well, I guess this title is a little misleading.
Anyhow, Thanksgiving is on its way which means this semester is coming to a close relatively soon and the stress is building relatively quickly.
So here's the scoop. I have decided to do a story on the curb cuts in Port Huron for my JRN 403 class. Its a great story, but its in Port Huron meaning to get any footage and/or interviews I have to go to Port Huron which is 30 minutes from my house and 2.5 hours from MSU.
So today I will be heading out there for another interview, downside?
It will be 5 and probably dark
It's 2.5 hours away
I have to drive 2.5 hours back, meaning I will be driving 5 hours for a 30 minute interview. No one can say I'm not dedicated to this field.
So to add insult to injury, I also have another story due the day we come back from Thanksgiving...

Journalism!
Yeah!
Driving!
Yeah!

All I have to say is that their better be some good music on the radio today.

Blood..

I don't like blood.
I can handle my own if its flowing in a somewhat normal fashion, but if it gushes... you've lost me. And forget about other people's blood, I either get dizzy, throw up or both.
So apparently I can't handle even the imagery of blood or guts.

Yesterday, Jim, Ashley and I were walking back from lot 75 and we started to talk about curb stomping. Not a big deal right, I didn't think so either... until Jim mentioned that curb stomping is a pretty humane way to kill someone because if done correctly, the person's teeth will shoot into their brain and kill them. Yep. That's all it took. I as gone. I got hot and light-headed and then the puking started. Seriously, I wish I was joking.
I wish.
Not only did I get sick and light-headed and dizzy, Jim went to get his car and they took me home where I continued to throw up.
Walking up the stairs was fun.
So while I was laying in my bed, puking whatever was left in my stomach, there was NOTHING left in my stomach, (sorry this is so graphic!) Jim was playing around on my computer and making me laugh.
Flash forward to 4 a.m.
I woke up tucked into bed with the light off and the door locked.
My mind was BLOWN.
How did Jim lock my door? When did he leave? What happened?

Well I found the key under the door and then went back to bed... I woke up this morning and went on with my day only to find little notes left all over my desk... they were varied, from things about my floor to where my key was.
What a great night!
NOTE: Sarcasm

Who knew imagery could make me vomit?!
Oh yay!

Communication.... Arts.... Sciences....

So, I am currently sitting in the control room in the DMAT Lab watching TISM students light the set of Focal Point.
This would be the 11th hour I have spent in this building today and the 2nd day in a row I have wasted away within these walls.
I need to start paying rent... seriously.
I feel like the real world doesn't exist, just the journalism world. The world of VO/SOTs, Packages, Readers, Teleprompters, Padding, Key Frames, patching, AVID and headaches.
I have gotten 4 hours of sleep and barely any food, besides AMAZING sushi.
This is journalism....
Oh man.

Maybe, I'll just drop out and become a housewife, any takers?
Darn. So it looks like more sleepless nights, more crappy food and more headaches.

I think the real world may cause my eyes to burn from the excessive light.

Let The Old Man Fall Away...

So, I got baptized today!
I am a new creation!
God has changed my life. Period. It is that simple and to be honest it felt amazing honoring Him in front of His church and honoring those wonderful people He has brought into my life.
God is so faithful! I am simply overcome with joy! He is just so cool!
I have pulled away from God for 19 years... I was disobedient and resentful and still God pulled me in.
God never let go of me, He never turned His back and never left me alone.
You want to talk about love?! THAT IS LOVE!
If someone I loved was rude, mean, disrespectful, mean, disobedient and resentful towards me... To be honest, I would walk away and not look back until they begged me to come back.
God begged me to come to Him... I didn't beg for Him until it was convenient... Even still He loves me, knowing all my fears and failures... knowing all my sin and doubt... God sees the darkness my heart and loves me anyway.
My goodness!

To quote myself:
"19 years later, I am declaring my love and obedience to You.... You are so cool!"
Praise God for today and Praise Him for all those who came to support me! God is just so amazing!

He changed my life!
He really did!

Oh man!

Buddies

So, I am officially a buddy.
Yep. Its official.
So I started volunteering at my church in a special needs ministry for kids!
Its called RivBuddies.
What happens is an adult volunteer is paired up with a kid who has special needs and that volunteer walks around with him and helps him go to classes and is basically his little helper should he need anything or want to do anything. You get paired up with one or two kids so they can get to know you and you can get to know them.
All the kids in RivBuddies are boys. Yep, 16 boys. 14 of them have Autism and 2 have Down Syndrome, but don't let that fool you...
These kids are awesome!
One of the kids is Autistic and wears Cochlear Implants in both ears, he is also the director's son so he gets to hang out with the buddies in the Oasis Room or play games on his mom's computer. But anyhow, when he feels like it, he takes out his Cochlear Implants so he can't hear you.... This makes me laugh. But, since he is there for all three weekend services, again his mom is the director of the kids' ministry, his dad comes to pick him up between services and take him to where else but... Tim Hortons. He has to have his doughnuts duh! What I think makes me laugh the most is that on the board his dad writes things like "No Class... NO Tim Hortons" or "No Implants... NO Tim Hortons" Talk about a bargaining chip!

I am so excited to start interacting with the kids and playing parachute with them... PARACHUTE!! LIke that big colorful parachute you played with in elementary school? THAT ONE! I get to spend my Sundays playing with Kids... Awesome!
So excited!

I think I'm going to love being a buddy!

Walkers

Needless to say, I am a pretty outgoing, loving person, BUT...
I can NOT stand it when people are oblivious to the world around them.
I was riding Lauren's bike to a meeting yesterday in the rain and I have never been so annoyed with the students on this campus!

Dear Oblivious Walker,
You are one of 45,000 students so why do you insist on walking around on campus with your head down and your music turned up too loud? I do not want to run you over, but when you aren't paying attention and walk in front of me, you leave me no choice.
Love, Angry Biker

Seriously, I walk to class, I do and I listen to music, BUT I do NOT walk around with my music turned up so loud I can't even hear my own thoughts and my head down!
When is that ever a good idea?! Does that even make sense? NO!
That is like the first thing you learn when you start walking.... if you walk with your head down, you will RUN INTO THINGS!
So why, when you get to college do you forget that lesson?
Its so frustrating!
I want to ride my bike so I can get to class faster, so be courteous and let me get past you without almost killing you. PLEASE?!
That's all I want.
I want to get to class without getting mad at you and freaking out when I almost run you over.

Summer Camp

So, I know what I will be doing this summer.
I will be a counselor at Center Lake Bible Camp.
Center Lake is this absolutely beautiful camp in Tustin, MI
Campus Crusade for Christ has Fall Retreat there every year and I know why.
This place is GORGEOUS!
The view from the lake alone makes you feel as if you are in heaven, plus they have everything from Noah's Ark to a Ga-Ga pit and a BMX trail.
Although the lake is beautiful and the other stuff is fun, the reason I want to work there is because of the mission behind the camp.
The camp is centered around CHRIST.
This is a Christian camp that allows kids to have a summer growing in God and in fellowship with other Christian kids.
I want to serve God this summer and really do something to further His kingdom. I want to let God use me and my story to bring kids to Christ. God changes my life and I want Him to change everyone else's life as well.
God worked in my heart both years at this place and I know He will work in other's hearts as well.
I want to be there as His witness and His disciple.

I love kids and I want to serve God, my father. So this is PERFECT.

What is Beauty?

I am in my Asian Literature class and we are discussing the obsession Asians have with Western culture.
In fact, there is a plastic surgeon in Korea that creates a double-folding eyelid. Americans have double-folding eyelids and the Asian culture is one of the only cultures that have single-folding eyelids causing their eyes to have that small almond shape.
When my professor told us that, it frightened me.
We as Americans focus on looking beautiful. We think we need to have long beautiful straight hair and a size 2 waist to be beautiful. We need to have tan skin and long legs.
In the Asian culture, white skin is beautiful, black hair is a symbol of youth and perfection.

This is terrifying.

We, as humans, don't like anything we are given.
We want something different than we are given.
I am so guilty of this.
I want straight hair, so I straighten my curly hair every single day.
Girls spend billions of dollars a year tanning their skin, dying, straightening, perming and getting extensions in their hair.
We are never satisfied.
Women in Asia bleach their skin... BLEACH! They even get surgery to look more "American"
WHAT?!
To me that sounds crazy, but then again so does burning your skin.
We will do anything to be called "beautiful" in our culture.

Beauty.
What is Beauty?

I think beauty is the lack of perfection, yet I long for it.
I hate my curly hair.
I hate my height and at times my waist size makes me want to go on a hunger strike.
But why?

I am healthy
I am smart
I am made in God's Image, therefore I am perfect, yet I constantly feel less than that.
I have been given everything I need, yet I want more. I need to look different, to look smart, pretty, sexy, attractive....
Why?

If perfection is impossible, why to we try so hard to match "perfection" in our own culture?
Why must we rebel against our God given looks to strive for something that is impossible to obtain?

Just food for thought.

The World Wide Webb

Title Credit: Christine Webb
Its official, I sourced it therefore I did not steal that title.
Anyhow,
Last Tuesday Christine Webb came over to my room, by surprise, to hang out with me while her lovely husband attended Landon Bible Study. During our hang out, we discussed many things, how her internship was going, how my crazy-busy life was going and life in general. After some surprise visitors and a lot of screaming, Lora, Sara, Cristina, Christine and I decided that after much talk and very little planning, we were actually going to have Sunday brunch! Exciting I know!
Well, it turned into a late dessert with Cristina, Christine, Rex and I, which was just as fun.
So after my, for lack of a better more descriptive word, stressful week, Cristina, Beau and I (SURPRISE! Rex wanted Crsitina to bring the dog, who would have thought?!) headed over the Lakeview Apartments to see our lovely newlyweds in their humble abode.
So we walked in, literally I knocked then opened the door, you know me I am super nosey and obnoxiously comfortable with others, and as soon as we walked in, the fun started.
We, by we I mean I, ate chocolate covered strawberries and brownies that Mrs. Webb made HERSELF. We played with a variety of cats, dogs and rats and sat at the kitchen table swapping stories about animals, school and residents. After our brownies and chatter, we walked down the the lake in the backyard. It was SO pretty, seriously this little hidden sanctuary in Okemos, who knew?!
So after spending some time outside, we walked back to the Webb House... Now this is my favorite part, or one of them.
As we were walking back, we get to the apartment building NEXT to the one Christine and Rex live in and Christine, sure as ever decides to walk up the path to this particular building as Rex, knowing this building is not their building, says "keep walking." Christine, obviously not paying attention gets almost to the door before seeing the wrong number and turning around. Now, I know what you are thinking, um... Katie, that wasn't really that funny, like at all.
But wait, after this happened and we are all laughing, Rex and I had one of our "moments" where we laughed and made fun of Christine, in a harmless way, for about the next 5 minutes... saying things like (in our fake Christine voice, of course, which sounds NOTHING like her) "Gee, they changed the lighting and numbers on our building since we left and walked down the lot and back... that's weird." This of course is ridiculously funny to me because Christine is VERY smart and more often than not, catches all of my mistakes when I talk or write and sometimes even in my actions, so any opportunity to make fun of her mistakes, which don't happen very often at all, is jumped on by Rex and I.

Side Note: Rex and I have these little moments where we laugh and act obnoxious, like 10 year-old boys. It's fun.

So, back in the apartment Cristina, Christine and I started looking at photo albums as Rex played with Beau. On occasion Rex would let Beau come over to play with us girls and she would pounce all over the photo album causing Crsitina to say "Oh, Beau, Oh... Stop Beau Stop!" After she got Cristina all up in arms about the photo album, Beau would go over to Christine, who was laying on the ground and "attacked" her, I say attacked in quotations because Beau is about a foot tall. During this "attack" Christine would enjoy it for about a second and then call to Rex saying "REX! Call.... Call the dog!" and Beau, knowing she wasn't wanted would lovingly pounce over to Rex who was on the floor laughing at Christine.
After the albums were looked through and put away, I, the loving aunt of Beau, decided to do as all good aunts do and get her all worked up before we were sending her home to her parents. Like that aunt who watched you when you were younger, the one who would feed you popsicles, candy and all sorts of pop and other goodies and then send you back home to your mom who would be pulling out her hair trying to get you to go to sleep, which was impossible because you were LOADED with sugar.... I'm THAT aunt, I do that to Beau, well the dog-version of that.
Rex enjoys this very very much, as do I.
So, what I do is bark and howl and jump up and down as Beau mimics me.... Its SO much fun! Cristina hates it, Christine didn't know what to do besides look at us and Rex was laughing with me and high-fiving me there after.
So thus ended our Webb visit and the three of us packed up the car and headed home.
A much-needed get away filled with much-needed laughter.

I love the Webbs...

Sitting, Waiting, Missing...

Well, the first week of classes is over and the second week is about to wrap up as well and to be honest, I am miserable.
I feel so stupid, so immature and so far from God.
I feel like I know nothing about my major, I feel like I'm not learning a thing and its frustrating. I also have never felt so behind. This week, I literally had to chose between a shower, food, homework or sleep. I chose homework and then fell asleep in my class, three actually thus making me feel immature and stupid.
Immature for falling asleep and Stupid for not getting the work done.
Don't forget lazy and irresponsible.
I have lots of floor events planned, no homework done and no sleep. Talk about your positive role model.
I feel so distant from God, I feel so sinful and so guilty. Last night was the first night I journaled and read in weeks and it felt amazing, I finally gave all that crap up to God, which felt amazing, but I still feel far. I feel so distant and above everything else, this feeling is the most heartbreaking.
I feel like crying, almost every second of the day.
I feel like bursting into tears and screaming at the sky.
I miss my mom.
I miss Christine.
I miss feeling like I'm worthwhile.
I miss, I just miss feeling like me.

I guess I really do need this weekend.... God is faithful, for He has given me the opportunity to get away.
I pray that I de-stress and have a great time, I pray for patience with my family.
I pray for warm weather.
I pray for peace, Lord, just give me peace.


Praise God!
Pray for me.
Sorry this is so sad and disjointed.

Ch-ch-ch-ch changes

Today marks the first day of the new semester and new year.
Today I have my first class as a junior.
Surprisingly, I'm excited.

Anyhow, on my way down to take out my trash this morning, I checked my mail. You see I live on the East side of the building and the mail is on the West side so whenever I'm over there I check, it seems kinda excessive since everything is on the west side, but making a trip over there to JUST get my mail makes my lazy side complain. Anyhow, I checked the mail.
And I see this big card in the box, so I open it up and its a 20% off coupon for Bed Bath and Beyond. Super exciting right? Um, not really. Although I love free things and sales, this particular coupon was made to make me sad. You see it was addressed to the old resident of my room, Christine Knasel. I instantly went "Awwww..."
Although I'm obviously happy Christine graduated and got married, seeing her maiden name in her old mailbox just reminded me of last year, and last year was a GREAT year. It made me miss her, and all the things we did together, it also made me miss last year's staff and last year in general. I love my staff and my girls this year, but last year will always hold a special place on my heart.
So thanks Christine for not stopping your mail... it was a plot to make me cry wasn't it? Well, it didn't work.
Don't worry I was surprised too! Katie? 1 Tears? 0

Alright folks, breakfast time!
Oh and class time... you know.

1:03 AM

Why hello there, It's obviously 1:03 in the morning, hence the title.
I am sitting in my room, restless, listening to music. I finished my mentor door tags today, and hung up the Yakeley-Gilchrist ones. I also put up my boards. I maybe going a little crazy doing everything so early, but I love being crafty and it really eases my stress to just sing, be crafty and take my mind off the real world for a second.
Anyhow, I was talking to Larson today and walking around with him, and I had told my AHD Angie that I accepted Christ for the first time last year and Larson said "Really? I didn't know that! Wow! Praise God."
And this statement got me thinking...
Praise God! Seriously!
I don't think I give enough credit sometimes because I am trapped up in my own little world of earthy, unimportant things. Seriously, He is amazing! He is! Even in the last few days, my mind has been full of worries and stress and just crap and I have been praying to God and you know what? He is so good, He answers prayers, He does. And its really awesome to think I serve a God who actually works, a God who is a doing God not just a present one. He does so much for us! Oh man!
This summer has been challenging for many ways and He has always provided. ALWAYS. I almost feel foolish for doubting that He would.
God is so so so good!
Props to Larson for the reminder!

Praise God!

On the Banks of the Red Cedar...

As you may have guessed, I am home.
I moved into 210 Yakeley today.
I left my home, my family and moved into my second home to be reunited with my lovely ResLife family!
I am so geeked to be here!
Its a little weird being in Christine's room, but it feels like mine. It really does. I'm so glad to be here and so thankful for this opportunity. I just love MSU.
I just love it.
Now its time for dinner with the Irish man.
SO PUMPED!

Love you MSU
Praise God!!

PS: For those of you who have NO lives, I will keep you updated on all training and MSU news... not to worry!

Snow White Toothbrushes..

Today is Tuesday.
Today was my last day at WXYZ.
I don't know how I feel about it quite yet, its bittersweet. I mean I finished my first big girl internship and got amazing experience, killer scripts, stories that aired and a great stuff for my tape, but I don't want to see it go. This was such a wonderful experience. I learned that this is what I really want to do with my life and its sad to see it go even though I will continue to learn after this at other internships. This one will always hold a place in my heart, because it was my first. As Colleen so eloquently put it, "You will go on to bigger and better things, you are definitely going places."
Still, its sad to see it go.
BUT.
I will be back at the station on Saturday night to anchor, so maybe I should save my sadness for then
AND.
This means I go back to school on Friday!! So excited!
I'm super excited to see everyone and hang out with all the mentors and finish all my nerdy mentor things... door tags.
Plus, I love State, so I am happy to go back.

So, here is the update, today I went into work and I had the perfect last day... just like I prayed for.
I found not 1, not 2, but 3 editors to work on pieces.. just like I hoped for.
And I thought God wasn't listening.... He was. He always is.
PLUS.
No cavities!
And my teeth and gums are looking better! Hooray!
ALSO.
The hygienist gave me 3 toothbrushes, because my mouth is super special.
So I got a grown-up one, a half one for the nooks and grannies AND a kids one for the back

What did the kids one have on it you ask?
SNOW WHITE!
If you know me you know she is MY princess. MINE.
When the hygienist gave it to me I said "Snow White!"
She said "I gave it to you because she has black hair like you do.."
I said "She's my princess!!"

I was super excited.

Great day, although it was the end of something wonderful... It signifies the start of more
More wonderful things in my future

Praise God for always being faithful.
Praise Him for amazing experiences.
Praise Him for my life.

Now, its time for a baseball game with Tina... Super pumped!
Till next time.

Inspiration

I am home, finally and I am waiting to head back to my grandmas for my last week at WXYZ.
As I lay in bed, trying to sleep, I stumble upon wonderful messages from wonderful women.
I am so inspired.
First, Sara.
On her Facebook on August 4th (I'm kind of a stalker) she posted Isiah 40:31 and when I got back from church, I was catching up on my gossip and saw it. I didn't immediately run to my bible to see the verse nor did I ask about it, I just noted it inside my head somewhere. Then, as I came to my room to sleep before heading out to grams house, I saw it again. It was different this time, something hit, someone moved my feet and I went to get my bible and saw this absolutely beautiful verse.
"But those who trust in the Lord for help will find their strength renewed. They will rise on the wings like eagles; they will run and not get weary; they will walk and not grow weak."
Beautiful.
This really struck me, because this is something I struggle with, trust. I am so concerned with my future, my projects, my education, my life, but do I stop to think about who is really in control, not really. I think about myself. I think about how devastated I will be if I don't get married, if I don't get that "dream" job, if I don't finish my projects at the station. Does it really matter? NO. It never will. Ever. Those things don't matter. God matters and He wants good things for me, He does. I know it sounds like the go to Christian saying, but it is so true, I can't tell you how many times God has proven He wants the best for me, how many times He answers my prayers. So since I know this and believe this, why can't I always trust this amazing God? Because I am a sinner and selfish in that way, but as He has always shown me God knows I am worried, He knows I'm not trusting Him and He does things to make me trust Him, and I am given constant reminders to trust Him. For example, this verse, the friends I'm surrounded with and the feelings of my own heart.
I am worried about finishing my projects and when I thought that I finally was about to get them done, it didn't work out. The editor was busy and I was told I could not meet with him today. Now, God is making me trust Him to finish them. I know it sounds weird, I know it does but its true. I know they will get done, but now I need to trust God that everything will work out the way it is supposed to, the way that helps me give him the most glory and maybe I need to sweat a little and get uncomfortable. God uses uncomfortable, God uses awkward and I know that those feelings lead to growth, thanks to Laura, my second inspiration for the day.
Laura blogged about her struggles with identity, I will not go into all the details, you can look yourself, but oh my goodness she really struck me.
It really helped me see how much I need God, how my relationship with Him is so important and how much I depend on it, but honestly I have no idea why God wants a relationship with me, our relationship is kinda one-sided. He gives me salvation and I depend on Him every second of the day.
Honestly, these two women kinda woke me up from my worried-coma.
So God knew I needed it and knew how to get my attention. He did. He knew and He always does.
Her blog also showed me how much I rely on the comfortable and how much control I need. I am a control-freak and although I am working on it, boy oh boy is to difficult and this struggle with my projects is just a small example of how I need things done on my time and if they aren't, I freak. Again, God uses freak-outs and I know that if He is using it, something will happen and I will grow from this.

God is good!
Beautiful is a hard word to spell...

I am blessed.

Trash TV

I finally feel caught up with everything.
Today, I finished all the pieces for my packages. I recorded my tracks, I taped my intros and put everything onto my hard drive, all before 9 o'clock. Go me!
The fun thing was I had to tape three different stories, so therefore I had to have three different outfits. So I was literally reading four sentences then changing then reading five sentences then changing then reading three sentences, so I probably looked crazy as all get out changing clothes every three minutes. Although I felt silly, I'm proud of how much I accomplished.
Then, I moved out of my grams house today, although it was sad I'm glad I got it done. Now, I can start packing up my life for school and wind down the summer with my family and away from my uncle, who is driving me crazy.
I would discuss my uncle further, but I don't like it when smoke comes out of my ears... so moving on...
I am now home and I am watching Steve Wilkos.
I hope you all realize how ridiculous this show is, if you don't I will explain.
The title of the show is called "She is my Property" and this man, who is 18, hits his woman because "he loves her" seriously he said that, meanwhile she works full-time, she goes to school and has a daughter with this man...he doesn't work. He is on the show to confront his woman because he thinks she's cheating. Meanwhile, he is at home all day, beating his kid and smoking weed. Talk about a dream boat.
The reason I love and hate this show is because Steve takes this to the most extreme point, which makes it funny.
Now this woman is picking a door...door 1 she can leave this awful man, or door 2 she can stay with him...She actually left him! That never happens.
I think that's why I hate this show, these women are abused and treated terribly and they still stay with these men, and Steve doesn't stop it. AT ALL. Plus, although this is reality, no one treats it that way and they act as if it all goes away when they get off the stage.
Anyhow, next up Maury and Jerry, gotta love those!

When Katie Met Sally

Christine Webb, the source of all there is to know about rats, has been running a rat foster care and adoption center out of her apartment. This is the story, the Webb’s started their family with a husband, a wife, and two very spoiled rats: Cindy and Houdini. Then, do to their big hearts for rats and the sheer volume of displaced, homeless and neglected rats in the Kalamazoo area they ended up housing eight rats. That’s right, eight! Juno, the young “teen mom” and her three babies: Snap, Crackle and Pop, “Creature” the rat that was saved from being snake food and Patch who they babysit often.
Pop was recently adopted out to a nice teacher leaving the six rats that live there and Patch the latchkey rat. So obviously Christine has been desperately trying to adopt out all these rats as soon as possible, which leads me to Christine’s evil plot and Sally.
I was heading up to East Lansing on Wednesday for work training and had the idea that Christine meet me in E.L. for dinner and she suggested that I just drive the hour to come see her and spend the night. This was the first step in Christine’s plot to pawn these rats on me. Christine knows I am impulsive and that I almost instantly fall in love with all rats after she introduced me to Cindy in the spring. So, knowing all this, Christine knew I would meet these rats, fall in love with them and take at least one of them home. Step two in Christine’s plan? Write a witty and funny blog about these rats, make a movie about them showing off the utter cute-ness of these rats, all a ploy to get me to take one of these adorable rats home. So, after I see these rats online, I tell Christine Crackle is cute so she tells me to take it home; again she is trying to make sure I adopt one of these foster rats.
After the three-hour drive from Sterling to K-Zoo, I meet Christine and Rex in Meijer and after a shopping trip and some debating on what to eat for dinner; Christine introduces me to the litter. I instantly declare I will NOT be taking a rat that looks like Bernece because I would never be able to tell them apart, so she introduces me to Creature, this very cute, very little girl rat who is white and light brown. Notice the amount of effort Christine takes to try and get rid of these rats. So after dinner, a trip to the video store and a walk back, Rex goes to get Patch the latchkey rat whole Christine and I take out the rats and have girl talk.
As previously stated, I am impulsive so after about an hour of playing with Creature, I decided to take her home and change her name because Creature is a completely unacceptable name for a little girl. Meet Sally.
See, my impulsive nature and Christine’s evil plot has led me to becoming a rat mom of two. So, now I have to introduce Sally to Bernece. Bernece is a diva so this is a little but harder than I thought, but it is coming along.
So I have a growing family and even more things to do now, thanks Christine. On a side note, I got to Meijer and called both Rex and Christine with no luck getting a hold of either one, so I walked into Meijer and started down the aisles. In about the 3rd aisle down, I noticed these two people kissing and immediately thought, “Really? In Meijer? You can’t control yourself until you get home? Wow.” Then I realized, the kissing couple was Christine and Rex. Ha. If you knew Christine you would be as SHOCKED as I was when I saw this. I thought it was funny and I wanted to share this just to mortify Christine.
Alright, I’m heading back to help my rats bond, what has my life become... Look for more confessions.

One Year.

One year ago my life was flipped upside down. One year ago everything I had known for 19 years changed.
After 19 years of pushing, pulling and doing everything in my power to push God away and out of my heart, He rocked my world in an unbelievable way.
July 11, 2009 Oscar Chapaton; my grandfather, my mother's father and my grandma's husband died.
And with death, came the death of something inside me.
That's sounds morbid, but it is so true.
After he passed away, I started to live with my grandma. I slept in the bed with her, where he slept and sat where he sat. It was an upsetting experience. I was so aware of my mortality and my lack of spirituality. Here I was trying to comfort my grandma, telling her my grandpa, her husband was waiting for her in heaven and I didn't even believe it. I have been raised Catholic my entire life and for 19 years I went through the motions and just like that, God had shaken me to the core. He literally shook everything in me and everything around me and changed my life.
This was the start of a rapid change in me. This is where I started searching for God and for what He had to offer and for who He was.
Remember how I said something died in me? That part of me that was pushing God away and going through the motions died. DIED. I was done being that girl, and God woke me up and told me I was done being that girl. He told me He wanted me to be another girl, His daughter.
In August, I met Christine and had a heart-to-heart with her in her room, after knowing her for 2 days and we had an amazing talk about God. After a couple of weeks, she invited me to bible study and with that the Lord began to work in me more than ever and a month went by and I accepted Christ and broke up with Kevin, my boyfriend of a year and a half who didn't believe in God and started my life as a new creation in Christ.
So, one year ago God flipped my world upside down and pulled me close to him.
After 19 years of disobeying God, He pulled me close to Him and changed my life. After years of pushing Him away..HE still pulled me close... He STILL did!

God is so good!

Although today was hard and this week has been full of emotions, what a great day! What a reminder of how much God loves me!

Rough.

Today was a rough day.
At WXYZ, I go out in the truck all morning and cover stories and get footage with Marlon. Its fun and usually interesting. It also makes me feel like a real reporter.
Today, we went to Pontiac to cover a shooting and homicide and when we got there... there was no lights, no tape, just 2 cop cars and 5 cops.
We were told very little information, so being the nosey little journalist that I am, I walked around the car blocking the one side of the street and the crime scene. Already being freaked out that I, the intern, was at a crime scene.. I wasn't expecting much, I mean maybe some blood a few evident markers, some more cops... but instead, I saw the body.
Yep, a real dead body. With blood. And no sheet covering him.
To be honest, it was a hard pill to swallow. Thank goodness I was with Marlon, he calmed me down and knew exactly what to say. Including "you have to move on," which although was comforting and very good in that moment... Seriously? Move on? This man, this empty body was someone's son, brother, maybe father, or husband. And now he is being treated like a piece of meat. He was being flipped around and moved around as if he was a dummy. He wasn't even covered by a sheet. Nothing. It was so unsettling.
These men, although I respect them very much, are so desensitized to the idea of death and it really bothers me. When I say desensitized, I simply mean that it felt that way to me, these men were doing this job and completing all necessary tasks with diligence as though he was just another dead body and it really bothered me. I could never do that. Ever and I give them credit.
This man was a person, he's not just a body to me but he was treated that way. It was just hard to deal with, and it was my first dead body so I guess I will get used to it. I don't know if I want to "get used to it"
Anyhow, then we went to a fire.
And that's news. Its as simple as that. You cover a story and move on. Its just a story. A fire. A body. A death. A shooting. That's it... just a story.
Although I love news and I feel so good about my internship and my major. I love journalism and all it entails. This was a great but rough lesson to learn.
I was surprised that I didn't cry on scene.. I did however cry to my mom and in the car by myself. Maybe that's how I'll get through the rough stories... maybe.
This is news. In reality, its a job. You do it and go home. You move on and cover the next story.
I'm not sure I'm comfortable with that yet. I guess I'll have to get used to it and do my job.
This may be tougher than I thought.

Stop by for the Summer...

Alright, here's the skinny.
I am sitting in Jim's apartment, watching TERRIBLE television and enjoying a day off.
B enjoys the AC and the dark room and I enjoy the cable, AC and relaxation.
Too bad I feel like the biggest mooch in the world, I mean this kid lets me sleep here, eat his food and just hang out when he's at work. I feel like I'm taking advantage and I feel like Jim is too nice to tell me to get the heck out when he's sick of me.
But, today I will be joining Emily for bible study! Yay!
So excited! SO SO EXCITED!
Then tomorrow, I will be in Detroit and then I'm spending the week with my grams.
This week is a rough one, my grandfather passed away a year ago on Sunday. So needless to say, my grams is having a rough month. Her anniversary was the 4th, his anniversary is the 11th and her 87th birthday is the 26th. Also, on her birthday, she is getting Lasik on her eye. She only has one, so she is pretty nervous something may go wrong.
So please pray for her.
Summer is half-over and that means door tag season has begun. I have 30 tags made for my girls and all the mentor tags. Hooray! To show the lame-ness of my mentor friends... Jim and I had a door tag making party. AWESOME!
So with that... I bid you a farewell

Call it Love...

I figured out today that I LOVE my major and what I do.
I am sitting in a McDonald's in Sterling Heights, waiting for a video to export and load so I can send it to Nancy... and although this doesn't sound like a day in heaven to most folks. I am honestly enjoying it.
What a great feeling this is!
Even the crappy parts of my chosen field make me happy... I would much rather do this than flip burgers at some fast food joint that makes my hair smell funny and my head hurt.
Seriously, this is awesome!!
Even working at the desk today made me happy and the desk is my LEAST favorite part of WXYZ... LEAST!!
I love this!

Go me!
God is good!!!

What a great day!

Sunburns..

Alright, last weekend I worked with the amazing Christine Webb and her lovely sister Cara Knasel at US 131 Sports Track. Although the work wasn't a Disney movie, the company was fun and the music was enjoyable. One thing I despised about the hours? 14 hours in the blazing sun with no sunscreen. I am now a tomato. I have burnt arms and a burnt face. Yesterday, my skin started peeling. Awesome! So if I didn't already feel bad about my appearance, I do now. Only kidding, I just wish it was so painful.
Anyhow, I made some money and that was good.

Anyway, work is ending soon and I will be less busy, which is nice. Sad, but nice.
I like being busy.
Sometimes.
Well, back to Full House.

Game Shows and Gas Money

So, today is Thursday and this week became less stressful than I originally thought it would be, which is nice.
Monday I went to work at WXYZ and had a great learning day, I did a stand-up and bombed it and then I had to go to rehearsal and toss to weather and bombed that as well. Although these are not the results I would have liked, it was a great learning experience. Tuesday, I did a cut-in and ROCKED it! Then I went on my first big-girl shoot and did well, or so I was told.
Then Tuesday night, Wednesday and today I spent the nights in EL and enjoyed myself, to say the least.
Now, I have a "bruise" on my neck and several all over my chest. That should be fun to explain to VBS tonight.
I am now watching Family Feud with my mom and sister and waiting for VBS to start at 6.
I also have figured out that I am not only broke...I am so broke I need to take out a loan from the bank of mom which is not that much fun.
Hopefully, a job and some checks are on their way.
Oh, shout out to Jim for being a very sweet, wonderful jerk! :D

End of the Weekend, Beginning of the Week

First of all, "Bridezillas" is obnoxious. This one Bridezilla Megan is so mean to her husband-to-be, to be honest I hope he leaves her. I know that's awful, but so is she. When SHE thinks her husband-to-be is MISBEHAVING, she counts until he does what she says. SERIOUSLY. And her mother, is worse.
If I was her husband-to-be, I would run. Honestly, run.
But anyhow.. I had a fantastic weekend!
Thursday, I saw Cristina, met Jordan, my new best friend, and Michelle Alex's sister plus Esther, her friend. We went shopping for 8 hours! Seriously, although exhausting, it was fun!
Then we saw alex and ate watermelon. YAY! What a great day!
Then, Friday I finished cleaning the trim in the kitchen and Matthew called me.
So we got his hair cut and of course ate McDonald's. Then we walked around with Murphy and watched the convention in his backyard.
I then drove to East Lansing for the night and got a speeding ticket... ugh. Which was the worst part of the weekend.
Then after a fantastic night with Jim and Cory, I woke up and drove to Martin MI to work concessions with Christine Webb, my newly married best friend.
Although the work was not the most fun, seeing and talking to Christine all day was great!
Then I drove back to East Lansing, to spend the night at Jim's house so I could shower, rest up and head home the next day.
Now I am home, resting some more and then getting ready for the week.
I have WXYZ on Monday and Tuesday, plus WKAR Tuesday through Thursday, a dentist appointment on Thursday and then I am hanging out with Dana on Friday. Should be a fun week, kinda. The hanging out with my friend part should be fun!
I'm excited for the week, but it should be very stressful.
Alright, well I will finish watching this terrible show and start packing for the week.
Look for more confessions.

Accidents, Insomnia and Relaxation...

Today.
Today is Tuesday.
Today is my last day of work this week.
Today one of my stories aired on WXYZ-Action News at Noon.
Today I cleaned my car out.
Today I taped another cut-in and my writing has greatly improved.

Accidents.
I accidentally threw B and her entire cage on the ground.

Insomnia.
I stayed up until 11 last night. Bad.
I woke up feeling like a zombie.
I had no coffee this morning.
I am slowly beginning to work better on less sleep. Similar to a crazy person, or insomniac.
I work and drive more than I sleep.

Relaxation.
I start my vacation today.
I do not have to work the rest of the week.
I get to spend time with all my love ones this week.
I finally get to experience the sunshine and the friends I have been so blessed with.

I can get used to this!
More confessions... to come.

Sunday

So I accidentally just posted this... with nothing in it. That was fun!
Its been a pretty good summer so far, eventful and hectic, but fun.
This week is my week off!!
YES!
I am actually really pumped to sleep in and hang out at my house and clean my room. Believe it or not, I have NOT unpacked from school yet, I'm bad I know, but it will get done this week.
Other plans?
-Organize/Clean closet
-Unpack boxes and organize stuff inside them
-clean out drawers/other misc. items to clean up my disaster or a room, a.k.a my storage unit

So with that in mind, this week should be restful, yet productive, just the way I like it and I know what you are thinking... Crazy lady! This is your week off and you are planning to... clean?!
Nut Bag!
But if I am not going to clean this week, when will I? Answer... the week I move back into Yakeley and I can't possibly live like this until then.

I can't possibly..

Oh well, nap time
Look for more confessions

But You Gotta Have Friends...

Alright so today was an eventful day filled with amazing friends!
Recap?
I am staying with my friend Jess and we are cleaning her apartment and having a blast and then today I had lunch with Sara, my favorite floor sister :D
We had lunch and talked and I got to see her room at 147 Holden! Which was just ironic because I lived in 147 in Yakeley.
And then I went to see Jim and had a fantastic conversation about God, life, relationships and everything in between.
Now my favorite director Megan is here in Jess's apartment talking about like and internships.
I am very blessed.
Look at the people I have surrounding me. What wonderful, loving fantastic people!
God is so good!
In such a better mood!

Praise God!

Birthdays!

I am now 20 years old.
Weird.
I am now reaching the age where birthdays aren't as big of a deal as they once were, which is nice but very weird.
I went to the Flea Market this morning and got 2 necklaces and a jewelry holder for my room and then I went to church and now we will be going to see Sex and the City 2 followed by dinner, I'm having an old persons birthday. No cake, no presents, just family. I like it I think.
Tomorrow I will be having a family thing at my grandma's house and then staying the night until Tuesday afternoon and then my week continues as the rest do.

On another note,
I heard something in church I really liked.
Romans 5:1-5
You should check it out, its beautiful. Honestly beautiful and only one of the reasons why the Lord is so wonderful and why the gift He gives us is so special.
He is so loving.

Thanks for all the birthday wishes!! :D

Good Morning...

Saturday. May 29th. 2010.
I turn 20 in 13 hours. Geez Louise!
So, I am cleaning up my house and room... slowly. I am watching America's Next Top Model and enjoying the ridiculous-ness of this show.
Today, I woke up at 9:18, walked the dog, cleaned Bernece, did the dishes and I'm about to do laundry and sweep the floor.
I'LL SWEEP! I'LL SWEEP THE FLOOR!
So, with a birthday smile and curly hair.
I bid you, the Internet farewell..
Look for more confessions.

Heat Wave...

Alright, it is 12:16 am on Saturday morning.. why does this mean you ask?! This means I will be 20 in 23 hours. That's right. 20!
Oh no, panic attack!
Not really, surprisingly I'm ready to be 20, I'm ready to step into my big-girl shoes and take on the world. Well, not exactly ready, but I'm not FREAKING out like I was a week ago. I think because I know I have no control over it anymore, not like I did, but now I have come to grasp the idea of getting older and honestly... I'm alright with it.
So, my mother REFUSES to turn on or even fix our air conditioner so I am sitting in my bedroom, in the blistering heat with a fan blowing directly on my face. What a life!
So today, I got a haircut, a much needed haircut and as most of you know... it is short again. YAY!
I absolutely, positively HATE my hair long. And by long, I mean if I can put it into a ponytail... I lose my mind.
Its dramatic, but hey that's what I am... dramatic.
Notice the dramatic pauses and slight dramatizations using uppercase lettering?!
Anyhow, my hair is short again and I feel like a big-girl. Not a 16 year old who doesn't know what in the world to do with her hair..
Since my birthday is so soon, me and mama went shopping today. I got a new comforter set. FINALLY. And a bathing suit top THAT FITS! YES! Plus some cute clothes for work and school. Then we came back and watched a bunch of movies... Including Blind Side and Ben Button. I laid out in the sun too... good day!
Although this was a fun day... I think its bed time.
Look for more confessions... of a former delusional bridesmaid.

Summer Lovin...

Alright,
I am no longer a delusional bridesmaid. Sad day, but also happy because my lovely Christine Knasel is now Christine Webb! Amazing!
So, I may become the summer hobo, we shall see.
This summer is nuts, but a lot of fun.
Working 3 jobs, trying to find another one that pays and waiting till I turn 20! Ahh!
Well, although I am busy, I am throughly enjoying this summer, except the heat.
Looking forward to the big birthday and some more time with my AMAZING friends!
I am so blessed..

Stress..

Ok so here I am in the middle of Chelsea, MI at a gas station... luckily with wireless Internet, waiting for Silvia, my big blue van to be fixed.
Today, her brakes blew out.
$517.58 later... I'm waiting for the mechanic to finish so I can get on the road and see my favorite bride, what a day!
I started bright and early at 2 am, went to work, left at 12, got on the road by 1 and got halfway to Kalamazoo before Silvia bit the big one.
Wow, talk about stress. Now, I am completely out of cash, like completely. Thank goodness I have a job interview tomorrow. Pray that I get the job, I need the money and the experience.
Anyhow, my internship is going swell besides the no-pay stuff and WKAR is consuming my life.
UGH. Who needs this?
I'm super excited to see Christine tonight and to see her get married on FRIDAY, but I am so stressed out. This is nuts.
I think its time I realize my limit.
Maybe, WKAR is too much. I may have to talk to my boss soon.
But, we shall see.
I think I can last until the end of June.
Alright. So here is update... WXYZ is awesome! WKAR is stressful. Silvia is broken. Bernece is amazing and very well-traveled. And Katie... um, I'll get back to you when I can think straight.
Pray for me.
Alright, this is the last week I am a Delusional Bridesmaid, I am honestly going to miss it, but I love them so I am so happy for them :D
Yay!!
Ok, back to waiting...

Feels like Home to me...

Alright, I am officially home for the summer and as some of you know, I will be living a pretty crazy life for the next 18 weeks. Here is the plan for the next couple weeks, Sunday through Tuesday living with grandma so I can commute to Detroit for my internship with WXYZ! Tuesday through Thursday living with Mag or other random East Lansing/Flint folks so I can commute to WKAR until the end of June and then... Working at least 20 hours a week to fuel this whole thing. Phew, I'm tired just thinking about it and to be honest it stinks having to pack my bag on Monday night for the entire week, who knows what the week will bring? No one!
Anyhow, East Lansing didn't disappoint and gave me a fantastic last week! I got a secret friend, spent some amazing time with my staff and other good friends, shared AMAZING kisses with this cute fellow :D and got a 3.5 in all of my classes (hopefully.)
Seriously, awesome year! AWESOME!
Also, Christine's wedding is in 12 days! NUTS!
I'm excited for this crazy summer, hopefully I will get to relax and have some down time with friends, family and that cute fellow. We shall see.
Stay tuned!

It all comes to an end...

Alright, school is coming to a close, my residents are all moving out and I have finished my last assignment as a sophomore.
This year has been crazy! This year has been so good! I'm sad to see it go.
I have grown more this year than I think I ever have. Let's recap shall we?
I found and accepted Christ as my Lord and personal savior.
I became single for the first time in a year and a half.
I saw the Lord change and work in me.
I have made unbelievable friends that have guided me in faith, moved me with laughter and have been there to stop my tears.
Wow, seriously this year has been absolutely incredible and I am so thankful for it.
Although this year has changed my life, I am terrified for the next step.
I am now a junior, I will be 20 soon and I will be entering the workforce as a news intern for Channel 7-WXYZ in Detroit.
Talk about growth, Geez Louise!
I am scared about what is next, but I am ready for it.
God has worked in my heart and changed my spirit and I know that I won't lose that once I move back home. I know that I will have God in my life until I meet Him in heaven, so why am I terrified? I am letting my worry and anxiety take over for what I know is true. I know God has a plan for me and will never let me fall. I know God loves me and will never let go of my hand, so I need to give up those worries. Seriously.
Easier said than done right?
But I shall try, and I shall try to keep up with this blog over the summer as I go from a delusional bridesmaid to a former delusional bridesmaid.
Alright, look forward to more confessions.

What in the World...

Alright, I haven't been on in a while and to be honest I don't know why, I have really been distracted lately and I have been having a hard time focusing on anything, which isn't good because finals are coming up soon and procrastination and laziness just aren't the best qualities to have right now. I have even been slacking on reading my bible and journaling. I really have. I find that I do more things for people rather than God, which isn't a good thing.
I'm just in a selfish place and I don't know how to get out of it. I really care what others think instead of caring about what the Lord thinks and what is pleasing to Him, so I need to pray about it, I need you all to pray about it too.
I don't know what is going on, but I know that the Lord is faithful and he will get me through it.
Alright friends, homework time. Look forward to more confessions.

April Showers..

Alright, so today was Christine's final bridal shower and it was a work/reslife shower!
It was so much fun and made me feel so grown up because she is the first of my friends to get married and I am not used to this kind of stuff. It was so much fun! She was so excited for her gifts and the food was GREAT! And we played games!
What a great afternoon!
Props to Danielle!
So, rounds tonight yet again, and this has been a bad news bears week for rounds because I wrote up 2 of my favorite residents on Thursday because of alcohol and they weren't even drinking. And last night another room on my floor was written up for alcohol, which sucked! This week was a week for the record books, the worst week ever!
So although this week was not so fun and was incredibly draining, I am starting off on a new foot, trying to stay positive and declaring that next week will be AMAZING!
Last night, before the alcohol was a great start, because Christine and I had a girl's night! We got all dressed up and went to see RENT! IT WAS AWESOME!
AWESOME!
YAY!
I have no motivation to do any work, but that's OK sometimes. This week will be great! I can feel it!
Alright, look for more confessions.

Tired..

Alright, so today I am riding the struggle bus. Heck, I am the driver of the struggle bus. I stayed up until 5 am talking to Zack about life, love, God and all sorts of other things. Although it was a fantastic talk, I am feeling it this morning.
I know what your thinking, why did you stay up till 5 am talking?
Well, Zack is a Night Receptionist and had to guard the door all night, so I kept him company.
How we both made it to 5 am is beyond me.
Anyhow, although I am tired and disoriented, I had a great night and an interesting conversation.
So, thank you Zack!
Alright, so this week hasn't gotten much better, but that's OK. I know that it can only get better.
Well, back to class, possibly sleep. We shall see.
Look forward to more confessions.

New Beginning..

Alright, this has been a hard week. I am aware that it is only Tuesday, but this week has been emotionally draining, spiritually challenging and full of personal growth. I'm not going to get into all the gritty details, but this week has been hard.
And we all have weeks like that and sometimes they get worse as the week goes on, and sometimes they get better.
I can only trust in god that the week gets better.
And this brings me to my next point, God.
As many of you know, I am a Christian and I go to bible study on Monday nights and last night was a great study.
We talked about trusting in God for everything and how everything in our lives is rubbish compared to Him.
I know what you're thinking, rubbish? Everything? Um.. OK crazy lady.
But honestly, what are we going to take to our grave with us? NOTHING. You do not see big mansions or hummers or piles of cash by the gravestones in the cemetery, you just see flowers from loved ones and the graves themselves.
So honestly why do we push so hard and try so hard to get all these things that we may only have for at max 100 years?
It makes no sense to me, although I am guilty of desires and wants for things that don't actually matter.
So I guess my challenge to myself and to others is to try to focus on something besides grades, homework assignments and classes because although those things are important, but they WILL NOT matter in 5 years let alone next semester.
I am going to focus on the Lord and trusting in His plan for me and I challenge you to do something similar. Focus on being nice to others, or the Lord, or your family. But focus on something besides the here and now, focus on the bigger picture, the end goal and try to achieve that end result that you want.
Alright, I've begun to ramble.
Look forward to more confessions.

Beautiful People..

Alright, so I have been thinking lately, well I just thought of something, what does it mean to be a successful woman?
I have 2 definitions...
The biblical definition and the pop culture definition.
Biblically?
Proverbs 31:10-31
She is resourceful, loving, honest, hardworking, selfless and godly
Pop Culture?
She is a size 2, she is tall, she's independent, some call her a bitch, and she puts herself before others and she tends to be business savvy.
This got me thinking, which woman do I want to be? The first woman puts the Lord and her family before herself and the second woman puts herself before others. The other characteristics I listed may be opinions but one thing remains true. One woman is selfless the other is selfish.
Both, however are successful.
Who do I want to be?
What does that say about me?
I want to be successful, I have goals that I want for my life, things I want to do and things I want to see, but do I want to put those goals above every other thing in my life and do whatever I can to achieve them?I know hard work is involved, but I think some people go WAY to far in trying to accomplish their goals, to the point of being immoral and if I went that far to do whatever it takes to achieve those goals and achieved them would I even want them anymore? Probably not. I probably would be so filled with guilt I wouldn't know what to do with myself.
We are force fed these ideas that we should reach for the stars and achieve our goals and travel the world and do whatever it takes to do it, but is it really worth it?
Do those things really matter?
I don't think so...
To be honest, I want to be like the first woman, I don't think I am her, but I think I can be and I want to be like her.
I want to live for a higher power, I want to live for someone else and I think putting the Lord and my family before myself is a great place to start.
Well, that's all for now look forward to more confessions.

Raindrops..

Alright, so today was raining and gross, hectic and stressful.
This week can only get better because it is only Tuesday.
I am super excited about Spring Retreat this weekend! I really need some time with the Lord and with the lovely bible study ladies. Honestly, what is better than a weekend away, great girls and the Lord?
NOTHING!
Anyhow, on less spiritual news, Backstage Pass staging is almost done! Hooray! I don't think I have ever been so proud of a bunch or lights and cords in my life, but honestly I feel so accomplished.
Also, I finished my story for Big Ten! Hooray! I have been working on this story for a month and a half and its finally finished! YES!!
I also got my internship at channel 7 in Detroit! Way Cool!
Seriously, I feel so accomplished. I feel like I am ready for this whole life thing.
Not really, but I'm getting closer, which is a HUGE step for me.
I have always been afraid to enter the real world and for the first time I feel like I can do it.
So, I know my posts are getting lame, but thanks for putting up with me.
Look for more confessions.

Home Again Home Again

Alright, so I'm back at school after a 4 hour drive and a hospital trip.
So, I guess my family gene pool contains genes that make walking very difficult because everyone in our family has fell down the stairs at least once if not twice.
Well, my sister fell down the stairs twice in one week. And the award goes to?! Maggie!
Anyhow, she's OK, no worries, but now I do have some fantastic stories for my friends.
So, the weekend was fantastic and I really enjoyed the family time.
I'm starting to really enjoy my family, which is nice since I once took them for granted.

Well, this post is short and sweet.
2 lessons?
-Appreciate your family
-Be careful around stairs

Look forward to more confessions!

Birthdays and Roller Blades..

Alright, yesterday was my cousin's birthday party. She turned 5 on March 28th. Happy Birthday Claire. Anyhow we got her roller blades. So, after all the cake and presents, I put on my roller blades, my cousin, Matthieu who is 6, got on his scooter and Claire got on her new roller blades and we skated around the driveway until she was so tired that I had to carry her to the porch. So then me and Matthieu started playing tag and chasing each other around, soon enough Claire was ready for another go and got on her scooter and joined the chase. Needless to say those kids wore me out. I can tell I'm getting older, a couple years ago, that would have been a warm-up.
OK so fast forward to today and voila, more roller blades. I took my lovely dog Elvis for a walk/roller blade. We walked 2 laps around the elementary school and bladed 2 more. He is worn out, I can tell he is getting older because I wasn't yanked to the ground, and we only went around 4 times. We used to play outside for hours, my sister and I and both dogs.
I guess things change.
I'm starting to think about getting older, my 20th birthday is around the corner and to be honest its a touchy subject with me. When I think about getting older, I start to panic. I don't know why, I just do. Maybe because I'm starting to grasp the idea of death, I really don't know. But when I look at Elvis and I realize that although time is moving at warp-speed, and he is getting older and he probably won't be around much longer, he had a GREAT life. And that is all I can hope for.
Seriously, if I live to 100 and have a boring life that I regret, what's the point of living. However, if I live for 65 years and have a blast and have all these memories, I'm cool with that. Life is here to live it, its the quality not the quantity in this case. I would rather have an incredible life for 65 years than a boring regretful one for 100 years. Now, I know that I will have regrets either way, but I would rather have the regrets out-shined by the memories than vise-versa.
OK, that's enough from me for now. Look forward to more confessions.

Hustle and Flow..

Alright, I am sitting in class, IAH 241A just is case you were wondering, and I decided to talk about the hectic lives we lead as students and my opinion about it.
Seriously think about it, we are full-time students dedicating 20 hours a week or more to schoolwork, classes and the monotony of the everyday. Then, we usually work a part-time job, maybe 10 hours a week flipping burgers or selling clothes. On top of that, we need experience and resume builders, like the dairy club or RHA. With all these commitments, how in the world are we supposed to stay sane with all these commitments, let alone do exceptionally well in our classes to possibly get a job and some money out of this entire thing. I mean we all want to make a profit after paying $64,000 to sit in required classes and study things that we will never use in our careers.
Is this what adult life is like? Is this what we have to look forward to?
I understand that my Fridays after college on will be filled with work and deadlines and screaming kids, but is this constant juggle of seemingly unimportant things the basis of our life on Earth?
I don't think so. But who am I to know what lies ahead of me, no one. I have no idea what the future holds. No idea.
Are we practicing for the real thing? For adulthood? For our futures? I know we are in our careers, but I'm not sure my life will be this hectic and frantic and stressful.
Ever since we were little we were told we that we need to practice something in order to be good at it. Like in high school we were told that we are practicing for college and that high school was preparing us for the next 4 years at a university. I don't know about you, but I disagree with that. Seriously, I took 4 music classes my senior year in high school. In college, I have 9 if not 10 things to do or go see everyday none of which include music classes, skipping classes or busy work. High school did nothing to prepare me for the stress, activity level or academic level of college. So I can't help but think, is this just another false truth? I think we don't know what our future is like until we get there. That's the catch, we will never get to our future, ever. Its always in front of us. Always.
I know it sounds bizarre, but with 3 jobs a full class load and other activities, I want more. I do, this is the only time in my life I can do this, I will only be 19 once, I will only be in college once. Only once. So why not have a blast! Honestly, why take it easy? Why? Being stressed out to the point of losing hair is no good, but I want to do as much as I can.
Is this what the rest of our lives is going to look like?
Heck no! So why have it any different, I will be working on Fridays for the rest of my life, so why try to be an adult now? why? Let me enjoy my young adult life while I have it.
So although I may moan and complain about the hectic life I lead and the amount of things I have to complete within the night, but honestly, I would not have it any other way.
In 4 years, i will be working at a news station, married with kids. I will not have time to do all the amazing thing I got to see and do at 4 am, I will not have time to go out with friends for hours on end, I will have an adult life with my family. Right now, my friends are my family and my school work is my job. So I'm going to live it up.
Alright, that's all for now, I know I rambled on and on but after all I am delusional. So look forward to more confessions.

Blessings..

Alright, so today is Wednesday, which means discipleship group meets today! So first thing is first, I love these women, they make my weeks and they honestly have helped me grow in my faith so much this semester and this year. So today we talked about contentment and that the way to achieve this is to put the Lord first. Being a new christian I understand this concept, but I struggle with putting the Lord before myself. Everyday. But, today was a new revelation, since about January we have been discussing the "tongue challenge" a week-long challenge to think about what we say to people and challenge ourselves to be polite, positive and Christ-like with our words and thoughts for a week. And this is the week we are trying it.
This got me thinking.
I am SO blessed, seriously. I am attending a great university, I have fantastic, loving, supporting parents, I am talented and intelligent and the Lord has chosen me to be his daughter and has surrounded me with people that help me grow and learn and stay in His word. So why do I complain, nag, whine and focus on the things I don't have and ignore the great things in my life? That's a great question and honestly the only answer I can think of is, "I'm selfish."
God is good!
So with the start of the "tongue challenge," I plan to stay positive about myself, the blessings I have been given and others.
Praise God for all he has done and I ask Him to guide me and others around me to remember His goodness and the blessings he gives.

Alright folks, enjoy the sunshine and look forward to more confessions of a delusional bridesmaid.

Starting at the Beginning..

Why hello there. As you can already tell, this is my very first blog. Shout out to... Christine Knasel for the inspiration.

Alright, so a little bit about myself. I am a sophomore at Michigan State and I am a journalism major. Now, hold on there I know that due to my major, I am supposed to be AMAZING at this whole blog thing, but to be honest I'm a little intimidated by it.

Well, I will start off with an explanation of my title. My dearest friend Christine Knasel is getting married in 52 days. I met her at the beginning of the year at fall training, because we are both resident assistants at MSU. When we first met, we hit it off like right away which was awesome. Soon, I found out she was getting married and like every other girl on the planet wanted to be a bridesmaid. However, Christine is like SUPER popular and has 8 bridesmaids already so I was denied access to the coveted spot in the bridal party. But, never leaving any stoned unturned, Lora, another RA, and I decided we wanted to be delusional bridesmaids. Basically what that means is we pretend to be bridesmaids. I know it sounds nuts, which is where the lovely and affectionate name delusional came from. So that is why I am a delusional bridesmaid and to be honest, I have totally earned my place in the wedding party by spending 8 hours making invitations and going dress shopping for 6 hours. I know what you're thinking, are you nuts! You volunteered time for a wedding you aren't even in? It really is a great thing though because I love Christine dearly and I love that she is getting married, her fiance is AMAZING! So it was totally worth it, plus now I get to be the understudy in case one of her bridesmaids cannot come. 2 girls are studying abroad and flying in a day or 2 before the wedding so if there are problems with their flights, I get to step in. Hooray! Don't worry I'm ready to slow down those planes. Not really, but just being involved with the wedding and being invited is enough for me.

So, I think that's a good start and look forward to more confessions of a delusional bridesmaid.