Wednesday, September 29, 2010

What is Beauty?

I am in my Asian Literature class and we are discussing the obsession Asians have with Western culture.
In fact, there is a plastic surgeon in Korea that creates a double-folding eyelid. Americans have double-folding eyelids and the Asian culture is one of the only cultures that have single-folding eyelids causing their eyes to have that small almond shape.
When my professor told us that, it frightened me.
We as Americans focus on looking beautiful. We think we need to have long beautiful straight hair and a size 2 waist to be beautiful. We need to have tan skin and long legs.
In the Asian culture, white skin is beautiful, black hair is a symbol of youth and perfection.

This is terrifying.

We, as humans, don't like anything we are given.
We want something different than we are given.
I am so guilty of this.
I want straight hair, so I straighten my curly hair every single day.
Girls spend billions of dollars a year tanning their skin, dying, straightening, perming and getting extensions in their hair.
We are never satisfied.
Women in Asia bleach their skin... BLEACH! They even get surgery to look more "American"
WHAT?!
To me that sounds crazy, but then again so does burning your skin.
We will do anything to be called "beautiful" in our culture.

Beauty.
What is Beauty?

I think beauty is the lack of perfection, yet I long for it.
I hate my curly hair.
I hate my height and at times my waist size makes me want to go on a hunger strike.
But why?

I am healthy
I am smart
I am made in God's Image, therefore I am perfect, yet I constantly feel less than that.
I have been given everything I need, yet I want more. I need to look different, to look smart, pretty, sexy, attractive....
Why?

If perfection is impossible, why to we try so hard to match "perfection" in our own culture?
Why must we rebel against our God given looks to strive for something that is impossible to obtain?

Just food for thought.

Monday, September 20, 2010

The World Wide Webb

Title Credit: Christine Webb
Its official, I sourced it therefore I did not steal that title.
Anyhow,
Last Tuesday Christine Webb came over to my room, by surprise, to hang out with me while her lovely husband attended Landon Bible Study. During our hang out, we discussed many things, how her internship was going, how my crazy-busy life was going and life in general. After some surprise visitors and a lot of screaming, Lora, Sara, Cristina, Christine and I decided that after much talk and very little planning, we were actually going to have Sunday brunch! Exciting I know!
Well, it turned into a late dessert with Cristina, Christine, Rex and I, which was just as fun.
So after my, for lack of a better more descriptive word, stressful week, Cristina, Beau and I (SURPRISE! Rex wanted Crsitina to bring the dog, who would have thought?!) headed over the Lakeview Apartments to see our lovely newlyweds in their humble abode.
So we walked in, literally I knocked then opened the door, you know me I am super nosey and obnoxiously comfortable with others, and as soon as we walked in, the fun started.
We, by we I mean I, ate chocolate covered strawberries and brownies that Mrs. Webb made HERSELF. We played with a variety of cats, dogs and rats and sat at the kitchen table swapping stories about animals, school and residents. After our brownies and chatter, we walked down the the lake in the backyard. It was SO pretty, seriously this little hidden sanctuary in Okemos, who knew?!
So after spending some time outside, we walked back to the Webb House... Now this is my favorite part, or one of them.
As we were walking back, we get to the apartment building NEXT to the one Christine and Rex live in and Christine, sure as ever decides to walk up the path to this particular building as Rex, knowing this building is not their building, says "keep walking." Christine, obviously not paying attention gets almost to the door before seeing the wrong number and turning around. Now, I know what you are thinking, um... Katie, that wasn't really that funny, like at all.
But wait, after this happened and we are all laughing, Rex and I had one of our "moments" where we laughed and made fun of Christine, in a harmless way, for about the next 5 minutes... saying things like (in our fake Christine voice, of course, which sounds NOTHING like her) "Gee, they changed the lighting and numbers on our building since we left and walked down the lot and back... that's weird." This of course is ridiculously funny to me because Christine is VERY smart and more often than not, catches all of my mistakes when I talk or write and sometimes even in my actions, so any opportunity to make fun of her mistakes, which don't happen very often at all, is jumped on by Rex and I.

Side Note: Rex and I have these little moments where we laugh and act obnoxious, like 10 year-old boys. It's fun.

So, back in the apartment Cristina, Christine and I started looking at photo albums as Rex played with Beau. On occasion Rex would let Beau come over to play with us girls and she would pounce all over the photo album causing Crsitina to say "Oh, Beau, Oh... Stop Beau Stop!" After she got Cristina all up in arms about the photo album, Beau would go over to Christine, who was laying on the ground and "attacked" her, I say attacked in quotations because Beau is about a foot tall. During this "attack" Christine would enjoy it for about a second and then call to Rex saying "REX! Call.... Call the dog!" and Beau, knowing she wasn't wanted would lovingly pounce over to Rex who was on the floor laughing at Christine.
After the albums were looked through and put away, I, the loving aunt of Beau, decided to do as all good aunts do and get her all worked up before we were sending her home to her parents. Like that aunt who watched you when you were younger, the one who would feed you popsicles, candy and all sorts of pop and other goodies and then send you back home to your mom who would be pulling out her hair trying to get you to go to sleep, which was impossible because you were LOADED with sugar.... I'm THAT aunt, I do that to Beau, well the dog-version of that.
Rex enjoys this very very much, as do I.
So, what I do is bark and howl and jump up and down as Beau mimics me.... Its SO much fun! Cristina hates it, Christine didn't know what to do besides look at us and Rex was laughing with me and high-fiving me there after.
So thus ended our Webb visit and the three of us packed up the car and headed home.
A much-needed get away filled with much-needed laughter.

I love the Webbs...

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Sitting, Waiting, Missing...

Well, the first week of classes is over and the second week is about to wrap up as well and to be honest, I am miserable.
I feel so stupid, so immature and so far from God.
I feel like I know nothing about my major, I feel like I'm not learning a thing and its frustrating. I also have never felt so behind. This week, I literally had to chose between a shower, food, homework or sleep. I chose homework and then fell asleep in my class, three actually thus making me feel immature and stupid.
Immature for falling asleep and Stupid for not getting the work done.
Don't forget lazy and irresponsible.
I have lots of floor events planned, no homework done and no sleep. Talk about your positive role model.
I feel so distant from God, I feel so sinful and so guilty. Last night was the first night I journaled and read in weeks and it felt amazing, I finally gave all that crap up to God, which felt amazing, but I still feel far. I feel so distant and above everything else, this feeling is the most heartbreaking.
I feel like crying, almost every second of the day.
I feel like bursting into tears and screaming at the sky.
I miss my mom.
I miss Christine.
I miss feeling like I'm worthwhile.
I miss, I just miss feeling like me.

I guess I really do need this weekend.... God is faithful, for He has given me the opportunity to get away.
I pray that I de-stress and have a great time, I pray for patience with my family.
I pray for warm weather.
I pray for peace, Lord, just give me peace.


Praise God!
Pray for me.
Sorry this is so sad and disjointed.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Ch-ch-ch-ch changes

Today marks the first day of the new semester and new year.
Today I have my first class as a junior.
Surprisingly, I'm excited.

Anyhow, on my way down to take out my trash this morning, I checked my mail. You see I live on the East side of the building and the mail is on the West side so whenever I'm over there I check, it seems kinda excessive since everything is on the west side, but making a trip over there to JUST get my mail makes my lazy side complain. Anyhow, I checked the mail.
And I see this big card in the box, so I open it up and its a 20% off coupon for Bed Bath and Beyond. Super exciting right? Um, not really. Although I love free things and sales, this particular coupon was made to make me sad. You see it was addressed to the old resident of my room, Christine Knasel. I instantly went "Awwww..."
Although I'm obviously happy Christine graduated and got married, seeing her maiden name in her old mailbox just reminded me of last year, and last year was a GREAT year. It made me miss her, and all the things we did together, it also made me miss last year's staff and last year in general. I love my staff and my girls this year, but last year will always hold a special place on my heart.
So thanks Christine for not stopping your mail... it was a plot to make me cry wasn't it? Well, it didn't work.
Don't worry I was surprised too! Katie? 1 Tears? 0

Alright folks, breakfast time!
Oh and class time... you know.